It's always so difficult to act on conflicting thoughts, negative automatic thoughts, thoughts that make you feel bad about yourself, tell you things like "nobody likes me" or "I'm a loser." One part of your mind would keep telling you how wrong you are, how distorted reality can become; while another part makes you believe the worst things about yourself. At such times, you can't help but quit.
When you have to go to a certain place and your mind won't stop telling you, you are not welcomed there, it is just easier to not go. When you want to try something new but your mind keeps telling you, you are not good enough for it, or makes up another excuse, you calm your heart by letting it go once again.
But after a certain point in time, you'll become tired of listening to these thoughts, tired of letting so many things go that you'll eventually be buried under regret. Giving yourself a healthy mental space is important, but not giving something a shot on a negative presumption isn't self-care but a defense mechanism.
Just go out there and do it. Maybe, you'll feel miserable at the end of it, I can't say. But, keep going, keep doing what you want to do, push yourself , be consistent and eventually you'll be able to look back at the past and see a different person, I can promise you as much. But first, you have to get out there and get it done.
To all the roads that I drove through,
To all the skies I admired from my car window,
To all the villages I passed through,
To all the views that left me in awe,
I have learned to be patient,
I have grown empathetic,
I have lived in the present,
I have experienced something fantastic.
It was in those moments that life felt like a beautiful gift.
A gift I knew I have to cherish for a long time.
You really don't have to go through bad times to realise the goodness of life.
Life can be lived in the smallest of moments.
Find your moments and always appreciate your gift.