This was the one thing that kept me put. I truly believed that if I left I would be responsible for an outcome I wasn't prepared for. I received threat after threat, about how he will find me and make my life hell, how he will kill himself and I will have to live with that on my conscience, how he has cancer and how do you leave someone who is sick? They inflict fear to keep you around for whatever the unknown is. I can say, it would be incredibly difficult if children were involved. The fear of what if... But, it is possible to leave and you just need to come up with a plan. I volunteer for an amazing organization that is available in parts of North America. We assist in getting abused women and children out of their homes and into somewhere safe. We can do this with police or security involvement, or simply assist in moving your belongings. This is is possible with private funding we receive, tons of volunteers, and a coordinator who sets every detail up and keeps us updated on the time so we can make this possible.
A plan is the first step! Make sure you delete your search history so you don't let on anything is happening. You are stronger than you know. .
Found a great little article on Medium (link in bio)
I would say this is true in any relationship. While trauma can be relatable and it’s nice to have someone understand you, have someone to share with, process with, this can also create a sense of intimacy that isn’t founded on real life.
Just because you become emotionally connected via connecting over trauma is no guarantee the relationship will have proper boundaries, support, etc. - in fact it holds a higher chance of having codependent or abusive tendencies. I have seen this in my past friendship which I needed to end. The connection was very deep, (which kept me in it), but the reality was, it wasn’t healthy. I allowed myself to be controlled, I was expected to carry her emotions, and make myself smaller.
Ending that relationship was eye-opening and I ended up stepping out of other relationships when I realized how much they also held immature qualities and much of our ‘’connection’’ was over shared childhood struggles. I realized I am much more than those struggles and I also want relationships where people are a) owning and working through their ish. b) are able to communicate in a healthy manner. c) are comfortable enough with themselves that they can own their own behaviors instead of projecting or blame-shifting.
When push comes to shove, shared trauma is fine, but it isn’t everything. If you aren’t spurring each other towards healing, behaving humbly when you mess up, allowing other to be themselves without feeling threatened and needing to control, you aren’t in a healthy spot.
I had to come to that realization and am continually pressing into relationships in which we share is mutual respect, care for the other, freedom to be ourselves, and recognition that we will never fix each others’ childhood. 💛
Posted at: 2019-05-22 18:39:02
• abuse awareness •
This is a slideshow presentation I made for my Social Media class. The objective was to find a problem and create a way to spread awareness about it online. I chose abuse, because I believe this is a topic many struggle with, and I wanted to do what I could to spread awareness and let people know ways to get help. If you have the time, please read through this presentation, and you might learn something you didn’t know before, and maybe one day you can help someone. Thank you.
Happy St. Rita's Day. A Saint a lot of people don't know about. She came to be known as the patroness of abused wifes and heartbroken women. She was mistreated by her husband, verbally and physically till he died in a fight with their neighbor. After that she became devoted to God and helping other women in bad relationships. .
Her Rosary has laid on my nightstand since my divorce and many prayers has gone to her.
Now, I pray for the lonely in a world where loneliness is becoming an epidemic. .
Help me raise awareness to loneliness on International Loneliness Week June 17th - 21st
#lonelinessweek#LAW#offline#love#singles #dating#single#recentlydivorced#divorced#abuseawareness#offlineconnections #singleparent
It’s all about #PLUR [Peace, Love, Unity, Respect] 💜
Posted at: 2019-05-22 06:17:18
Family photo, Siku decided she can only pose with food in her mouth, when she feels like it. As I leave for work, reflecting on this past weekend and that full moon in Scorpio, amiright?!?!! WOW. What felt like massive setbacks then, I know now were really huge shifts of growth. I got massively triggered on Saturday, sent me in a downward spiral into a deep, dark place I had not been for a long while..back to a time where I was still in the thick of all my trauma. It felt bottomless, ruthless, and alarming. All that work, and yet there are parts you still carry. I wanted to share this for whoever is reading, to know it’s okay for these things to happen...for whoever is involved it’s a hard, scary thing. Days, weeks, months, years afterward..sometimes you cannot resolve or address everything. Even if you try so damn hard. You can’t recall every little detail someone put into your head, until someday you are reminded of it. Out of the blue. On a perfectly normal wonderful day. Compassion for yourself, is where you find the light. Someone by your side, holding you until you can find it again, eases so much of that too. Gratitude for all of it. ♏️ 🙇🏻♀️🌚 #astrologyheals#abuseawareness#mentalhealthawareness#talkspace#fullmooninscorpio
Some guy just attacked me and tried to steal my purse on my way back to my car when I was in the middle of a coughing attack 😲. He called me a "Cunt" as I struggled to close the door behind me. I am in shock. I've seen it tons of times in movies....but living it... Jesus Christ, that was.... a lot. This is why I stand up for women who have been abused. Why I will always stand up for women who have been abused. No one should have to live that. EVER. Two men stood close by with their phones in hand and just watched. They just let it happen. I was lucky this time. This time...
Vaginas Uniting in Georgia to help preserve our right to a safe abortion. No matter your ethical stance on abortion, we all know the truth of what will happen if it is de-legalized... the unnecessary deaths of women from unsafe abortions. We can’t go back... women need to not die over this... we can’t go back... #vaginasunitedvu#wombwarrior
Sometimes therapy days are really hard. And you’re stuck right back in the moments you’re trying so hard to forget
We stopped at Starbucks after to sit and have a “coffee” (steamed milk). When we were leaving Ky dropped his .. all over🤦♀️ One of the Starbucks ladies came out right away to clean it up, Ky said he was so sorry and looked at me and said “what a bad day mom.” she said, “it’s okay lil’guy, we don’t cry over spilt milk here😊 we’ll make you another right now.” And moments after a man walked in, seen the mess, seen Ky, and said “come here buddy I’ll get ya another.. this ones on me mom” .
Two strangers, with no idea what kind of a morning we had, left Ky and I standing there with big alligator tears staring at each other being so overwhelmed with their kindness
The mess was cleaned up, Ky was handed another “coffee”, and as we were leaving he said to me one sec mom, and walked over to the man and gave him a hug, and thanked him. When he came back to me he had tears on his face, and when I asked what was wrong Ky said, “I just can’t believe how nice some guys are mom.” I can’t help but think this was a divine intervention of two amazingly kind people crossing our path today .
Some days are tough, but some people are awesome. .
#grateful#thankful#kindness#kindnessmatters #actofkindness#starbucks#brokenhearts#healing#journey#therapy#survivors#abuseawareness#angels#angelsamongus #thankyoujesus#godisgood#blog#blogger #christian#singlemom#singlemomlife #coffee#coffeeshop @starbucks
Official account of CFA, Victoria's fire and emergency service. 🚒🚒 Tag us at #cfavic - ☎️ 000 in an emergency 🚨 This account is not monitored 24/7.
Posted at: 2019-05-21 08:00:04
"Not done yet..." Congratulations to David Barton from Korumburra Brigade for winning the NVW 2019 Photo competition in the professional category!
David's photo reminds us all of the ongoing nature of our volunteers' efforts, as well as the dynamic environments they operate in.
Posted at: 2019-05-21 01:04:02
Congratulations to Luke Commisso from North West Mooroopna Brigade for winning the 2019 NVW Amateur Photo Competition!
Luke's photo shows one of our core values of Teamwork; no matter what lies before us, no matter what challenges we face, we all come together to work as a team
Posted at: 2019-05-11 23:28:46
Today is about celebrating the powerful role our Mums play within our communities. We wish every Mother a happy Mother's Day and thank you to those who spend time away from their families to help others. 💐
Posted at: 2019-05-08 06:02:45
An all star line up this morning at @mcg for the launch of the #EmergencyServicesMatch on the 7th of July. The game will see Hawthorn take on Collingwood in recognition of our emergency services personnel and raise funds for the Emergency Services Foundation.
Posted at: 2019-05-05 11:39:22
🚒🇦🇺🏈 Today was a very proud moment for 80 volunteers who represented CFA at the AFL Country Round match. Before Essendon Football Club took on Geelong Cats, CFA volunteers formed a guard of honour and unfurled the Australian flag on the field.
A BIG thank you to all our dedicated volunteers for all that you do to help keep Victorian communities safe.
Posted at: 2019-05-05 05:28:10
Firefighter Tim - The Basin CFA will be joining 80 CFA volunteers today for the guard of honour before the match. Give the crew a wave when you see them do the lap! 👋🏻👨🏻🚒👩🏻🚒
Posted at: 2019-05-05 04:58:12
We think there’s a few little CFA fireys in the making! Come say hello to Firefighter April at today’s AFL Country Round festival where we have a CFA truck and games for big and little kids 😊🚒🏈
Posted at: 2019-05-03 23:20:01
Today we say thank you to our firefighters around the world as part of International Firefighters Day. We recognise the commitment, sacrifices and risks they face in the line of duty to ensure the safety and protection of their communities.
Posted at: 2019-04-29 05:57:49
🚒 🏈 The countdown is on for Sunday's AFL Country Round where the Cats will take on the Bombers!
CFA will be at the game this weekend so make sure if you are there you drop and talk to our firefighters before the game.
Posted at: 2019-04-24 22:01:03
They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old;
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.
Posted at: 2019-04-24 12:02:42
Gabby Keats is a bit of a legend. Gearing up to take on the 5th Annual New York City Memorial Stair Climb and climbing 80 flights of stairs of the 3 World Trade Centre with 25kgs of gear.
Gabby's adventure is raising money for A Soldier's Journey Home.
Join us in wishing Gabby good luck for the climb and the rest of her training! 🇦🇺🇺🇸🚒🙌
Posted at: 2019-04-23 03:19:28
A very BIG thank you to everyone who came to the @goodfridayappeal Kids Day Out. Firefighter April and Captain Koala wowed everyone with her show while helping our little (and big) audience understand the importance of fire safety.
We are so grateful for all the effort put in across the state for raising over $18 million for @rchmelbourne 🥰🚒